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How to Motivate Yourself
Getting FocusGaining ConfidenceMaintaining Direction
Edited by Mike, Ben Rubenstein, Zack, HelenKeller and 39
others
Technically, technically, motivation doesn't really exist.
It's a combination of a whole bunch of things -- usually including some type of
fear or intense desire. After all, the motivation battle is nothing but,
"I think I can, "I think I still can," and "I'm doing it!"
Because of that, we're going to hone in on three things: developing confidence,
staying focused, and maintaining direction. And we're off!
EditPart 1 of 3: Getting Focus
1Stop thinking in terms of fear. We're all guilty of
thinking in the negative instead of the affirmative. We're busy not wanting
things. That's fine and normal, but there is no action associated with not
wanting something. You can't decide to do something because you don't want
another. That's not how it works. That'll just keep you on the couch, doing
nothing.
Fear is harmful for two reasons: A) It keeps you
unmotivated. A negative goal isn't something you can go to action on. But
what's more, there's B) It's draining and exhausting. Living in fear sucks. It
keeps you in a state of perpetual worry instead of action. When you're drained
and exhausted and worried, you are not going to be motivated. There's no two
ways around it.
2Define your goal and your plan to achieve it. Now that we
have you thinking in the positive, you gotta know what you're getting positive
about. Instead of, "I don't want to be homeless, poor, and live my life in
a state of abject poverty," you're thinking, "I want to be
financially secure." Awesome. Now -- what's your plan to achieve that?
Well, for that specific example, you'd create some type of
income plan. It would involve making a budget, possibly going back to school,
or expanding your business. You have concrete steps toward your goal. But for
whatever you're facing -- be it weight loss, doing well in school, or following
through with a dream -- you need to figure out what it is you want and just how
you plan on doing that. If you really want it, it won't be all that hard to
figure out.
3Keep it to just one. If you have a ton of things on your
to-do list, sometimes it becomes daunting and you end up putting the list away
and "tackling it later." But if you have one thing on that list of
yours, that's it. That's doable. It's doable and you can focus on it --
spreading yourself thin over a dozen won't do you or your goals justice.
You can't focus yourself if you're not focused on a specific
goal. Break it down into small pieces as much as possible. If your goal is to
shave 5 years off your appearance, attack it bit by bit. Start off with a new
workout routine and get that down. Then, move to a new makeup regimen. Then,
tackle your wardrobe. If you don't parse it out, your brain will raise it's
arms (if brains had arms) up in surrender and you'll be left with no idea where
to go or what to do.
4Make it fun. Straight up, doing something you flat out
despise won't be something you keep up with. The second you can drop it like a
bad habit, you will. For that reason, whatever you're doing -- be it saving up
money for that new car or losing 15 pounds -- you gotta make it enjoyable. The
more enjoyable it is, the more you'll do it. The more you'll do it, the better
you'll get at it. The better you get at it, the quicker the end result will
come.
Where there's a will, there's a way. Do you hate running? No
problem. Take a kickboxing class -- the weight will fall off that way, too.
Horrible at writing papers? Change to a topic that drives you. Can't save money
to save your life? Switch environments. Your world is malleable -- what you
make of it can change your motivation entirely.
5Read about it. On the outside, this kind of sounds silly.
How could reading about something that you think about all the time really get
you motivated? But it does. Hearing other people's success stories (especially
when they make it sound super simple), gets your brain thinking, "Hey!
There's no reason I can't do that, too!" You all of a sudden become
logical. So stop Facebook stalking your high school peers and get to doing
something useful.
You may think reading stories of people who have succeeded
in losing 100 pounds may make you feel overweight and accomplished (for
example), but if anything, you should feel driven, empowered, and armed with
resources. You can learn from these people! And if their success doesn't
resonate with you, at least it can bring out your competitive edge.
6Set rewards. Let's be honest: results just don't come soon
enough. It takes years to make money from a new business, it takes months to
reach weight loss goals, and it takes a virtual lifetime to be happy with
yourself. That's just about the opposite of instant gratification. To overcome
this unfortunate fact of life, give yourself rewards. Life sure isn't going to
do it for you, so you might as well will.
Don't just use rewards for the big end goal (though by all
means do that!). Set up checkpoints for yourself and give rewards at those
smaller successes, too. Lost 5 pounds? Great! That warrants a massage. Aced
your last three tests? Super! A night out it is! Finished the first half of
your book? Wonderful -- now it's time to go shopping.
EditPart 2 of 3: Gaining Confidenc
1Keep the glass half full, not half empty. When we think
about something we want, a necessary part of that is realizing we don't have
it. That can turn into a whirlwind of negativity, starting us down the path of
self-pity, lethargy, and ending in a box of w(h)ine. Don't go there! Think
about what you do have, what you're grateful for. Only then can you make what
you have better.
Make of list of 10 things you have and are thankful for. Go
through it every day (and then come up with another one when you think of
more). Focusing on what you have done, made, and are will instill in you a
sense of confidence. When your attitude is, "Heck yeah, I can do
this!" (looking at your past accomplishments will prove to you you can!)
it makes the goal a lot easier to reach.
2Find out just what you need to do. Let's say, for example,
that you want to become an actor. That's great! ...But where do you get
started? Not knowing the first thing about how to do something can be very
intimidating and stop you dead in your tracks. Dream automatically crushed. But
when you know the path you need to take, it's a lot easier to hop on.
Tap into your resources. With technology, you have the
veritable world at your fingertips. That's code for "you have no
excuses." Ask friends, acquaintances, people that look like they've done
it on the street -- doesn't matter. Do your research online and figure out the
best, most efficient way to get done what you need done. You'll end up feeling
like an expert and the knowledge will ease your mind. This will usher out the
worry and negative self-talk and bring in the confidence and go-getting
attitude.
3Surround yourself with positivity. The world is full of
naysayers. You could say, "Tomorrow I'm going to breathe all day!"
and you'd be able to find someone who would bet you $10 you won't do it. It's
best just to avoid these people. They're miserable and don't deserve your
attention.
Okay, these people can be helpful in very, very, very small
amounts. If you do find yourself next to that negative Nancy and you can't
escape her, let her fuel your fire. Let her burn you up inside until you have
no choice but to do the exact thing she thinks you're not capable of. Her
defiance of your ability can lead to just the right amount of adrenaline and
determination you need to get the job done. Maybe one day you'll be able to
thank her! Gosh, wouldn't you both just love that.
4Start small. There's no way having a goal of "becoming
world famous" or "losing 75 pounds by winter" or even
"mastering the clarinet" are ever going to happen easily. Alright, so
maybe those are a bit extreme, but you get the point. Having a goal that just
isn't going to happen will turn you off and keep you from being successful.
Instead of becoming world famous, losing a ton of weight, or
mastering the clarinet, opt for having a successful YouTube channel, losing 10
pounds this month, or playing a classical piece on the clarinet. All these
things are working toward these super-massive goals, but they're doable. Doable
is something you can stick to.
Start small in the mornings. If you have a list of tasks,
you may find it beneficial to start with the smallest one. This gets the ball
rolling and eases you in to the harder parts of the day. Getting going really
is half the battle.
5Use visualization. For a few minutes each day, sit down and
visualize obtaining your goal. Visualize having it. Being it, doing it,
achieving it, whatever. What does it feel like? After the few minutes are up,
how do you feel?
Make sure to use all your senses. What do you taste, smell,
see, feel, and hear? What is life truly like? What adjectives can you use to
describe this new life of yours? Work in the details to make it as clear as
possible. Where are you? What are you doing? What are you wearing? How do you
look? Who is with you?
EditPart 3 of 3: Maintaining Direction
1Stay excited. Things always lose their novelty as soon as
we get used to them. Walk by the Sistine Chapel enough times and you'll stop
noticing it's there. If you've been working at this goal for a while, you risk
just getting bored. NO! That mustn't be allowed. You gotta switch it up and
keep stimulating your senses.
Experiment with new means of reaching your goals. If it's
weight loss, pick up a new healthy habit. If it's making money, try a new
business strategy or budgeting system. Keep yourself on your toes.
Surround yourself with images. Constantly reminding yourself
what's out there can be a good way to stay in the game. Change your desktop to
a series of motivational images. Write yourself little notes in unexpected
places. Remind yourself, "Oh yeah, I'm doing this -- and I'm getting
there!" That's surely something to be excited about.
2Refine your plan. You have your goal all set out and you
have how you're going to achieve it...but as you go on this path to awesome
stellar-ness, you've probably found that a few of the things you thought
originally would get you there aren't working -- or at the very least, they're
too time-consuming to warrant being worth it. It's time to analyze your results
and do a little tweaking.
Make a list of activities that you've been doing to reach
your goal. Now, which ones are yielding the highest returns? Which ones have
good intentions but don't really cut it? Once you've established what's best
and what's not, focus the majority of your attention on these high-profit
activities, tweaking them to make them even better. Instead of one daunting
task, you now have several manageable ones.
3Put yourself in the public eye. It's Monday morning and
you've decided to give up coffee (ha! Good one.). You decided this at 7:30 and
by 9:00 your at the office chugging it like it's in your job description. No
one knows about your failures but you and you'll forget about that with the
caffeine high. What you should've done? Tell all your coworkers.
Announcing to the world that, "Hey! I'm doing this!"
gives you automatic pressure to stick with it. Hopefully, you won't be
surrounded by a cluster of enablers and they'll make it harder for you to fail,
too. If your coworkers would've known you were giving up coffee, they would've
hidden your mug in the boss' bathroom.
There's always the Internet, too. You probably interact with
more people more often on it than you do in real life, huh? Sad, but most of us
nowadays do. So post it on your Facebook, get it in your blog, and tweet the
bejeezus out of whatever it is you're trying to do. Maybe you'll inspire
someone else while you're at it!
4Don't make mountains out of molehills. You'll find this
exact step in about a bajillion wikiHow articles (and from all your friends and
family members, too): Don't let the setbacks set you down for good. They are
inevitable and they will happen. Even the most successful people have them --
in fact, they probably have more of them. Edison didn't fail, he just found
10,000 ways that didn't work, remember?
It's all too easy to have a setback and launch yourself into
a pity party for 1 that keeps you from getting back on your horse. Well, you
can't do that. When you have a setback, acknowledge that it's a set back. Allow
yourself to sulk for 15 minutes and stop. Tomorrow is a new day. Today's
setback has nothing to do with the future of tomorrow.
5Get like-minded friends for support. There are very few
things in this world that you truly do alone. And ten bucks says you know a
couple of people that could join you on your journey -- or at least cheerlead
from the sidelines. If you have people that understand your plight, you'll feel
much less weight on your shoulders.
It's important to ask for help when you need it. It's not a
sign of weakness or naivete, it's a sign of being human. Having a solid support
group you can lean on is not only resourceful, but it's just good sense.
They'll keep you up when you feel like falling and present you with resources,
ideas, and motivation that you wouldn't otherwise have. So seek out friends, an
online community, a local club or organization, and get to forming a
motivational network.
6Chart your progress. Humans naturally need things to be in
concrete terms. You know how many people hate abstract art? It's just hard to
understand. So when you're on this path to greatness, get things as tangible as
possible. Keep track of your progress so you can't sit down and see how great
you're doing. Now that's motivating!
Keep a journal dedicated to this task. Record your duties
every day (and whether or not they get completed) and your check-ins to see if
you've reached mini-goals. Bring it along with you wherever you go!
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